I have a confession to make. I am a horrible farm wife.
I’m not the best cook. I take fast food to the guys working out in the fields.
I’m not the best house keeper. I keep a clean organized home, but it would never pass the white glove inspection like my mother’s house.
I’m never caught up on laundry and I will wash a load twice if I forget to put it in the dryer. I quit matching socks several years ago and ironing is out of the question.
I rely heavily on my dish washer. I will wash things twice if they don’t get clean the first time instead of hand washing them.
I don’t bake pies very often, I hardly ever make homemade bread.
I struggle to keep up with the “picture perfect lawn”. Who makes their yard an acre anyhow?!
My “garden” has only a handful of things in it and weeds are one of my biggest crops.
I sometimes forget to pick up the eggs each morning. Okay, most mornings.
I’m not the best book-keeper, I am constantly behind transferring paper records into QuickBooks.
I am not one of those women that milks the cows every milking. Most likely never will be one of those women.
Sometimes I run to town for errands and forget the most important stop on my list. Actually, that happens more often than I would like to admit.
Most days I am just thankful to make it to the end of the day with five kids that are fed, bathed, healthy, and happy.
Most nights I will stay up and wait for my husband if it just so happens I made it in to the house before him
So there you have it. I am a horrible farm wife.
So why am I sharing this? I think more often than not we feel like we have to do it all or we are failing. We are constantly comparing ourselves with others. The older I get, the more I realize that a messy house, mismatched socks, pulling an all nighter to catch up book work or hiring someone to help out on the farm is perfectly okay.
Making sure my husband and children are loved in the midst of the chaos is sometimes the only thing I can do right.
AND that is all that should matter.
Krista Stauffer
Latest posts by Krista Stauffer (see all)
- Ensuring Quality and Safety: The Rigorous Inspection and Testing of Washington State Dairy Farms - May 6, 2024
- Understanding the National Dairy FARM Program: Ensuring Excellence in Dairy Farming - April 29, 2024
- The Importance of Nutrient Management Plans for Washington State Dairy Farms - April 17, 2024
- Homeschooling on the Farm: Cultivating Learning in a Rich Environment - April 11, 2024
Just started in year 33 of being the very same “Not the Perfect Farm Wife” and it’s worked for us! Three beautiful daughters and a very patience farmer.
Same her I’m so glad not only one.
I am so glad that you posted this article. I feel the exact same way 99% of the time and do the exact same things. I can cook that is the only exception, but I don’t have the time to cook as much as my farmer would like! It is a constant rat race to keep up with everything and maintain a little bit of sanity! So glad to hear that I am not the only one!!
You just wrote the story of my life! Glad to know I’m not alone in my struggle and maybe it makes you feel better to know there’s more of us out here struggling with you. At the end of the day, if my kids and husband are happy, it’s meets my standard of a successful day! 🙂
Krista, you got it right. Love your husband and children, they’re the cake and icing of your life. All else are the things that decorate the cake. Farm/ranch cakes can be messy, but filled with what’s most important, love.
This is great you just made me feel a whole lot better about what kind if farm wife I am
Yeah, I don’t feel alone =D
I completely agree, I’d like to add not the wife that gets up at 5 a.m. every morning to do chores… lol.
Thanks for sharing.
I knew I was missing something! lol 😉
A fellow Jersey farm wife once told me she had three things in her garden, her three precious children. That helped me realize there are more important things in life than keeping up with my mother-in-law whose children, never played sports or spent anytime away from the farm. I am happy to say that all of my children are independent and experienced in so many things and places.
I love this – I feel like the world’s worst farm wife because I’m hardly ever home helping on the farm unless it’s the weekend – otherwise I’m at my town job! I would like to be a farm wife but really I’m a farm spouse who works in town!
Just keep in mind that town job may be helping the farm because you support the family & keep the farmer happy by allowing him to farm instead of making him have a town job!
I love this post! I admit that I love cooking and baking…I bake pies (but only once a year because they are a LOT of work)…I mostly keep up with my housework, but never ever pass a white glove test either! I love my garden, but it’s very therapeutic for me and I’m learning as I go. I cannot can…and don’t really like canned foods so I’m not sure if I ever will like it. I can make freezer jam though!………which is crushed fruit and a mixed pack of Bernardin gelatin plus sugar, easy peasy 😉
As above stated I am that person also. I work in town too but on my days off I am also helping on the farm and trying to do the other things. It’s nice to know others are out there that feel the same.
Love this post! It fits my life a bit too perfectly! But I am still proud to be a farm wife, wouldn’t trade it for the world, and it’s ok to not be perfect. I have three girls and want them to learn that’s it’s ok not to be perfect, just do the best that you can with the gifts that God gave you.
Thanks everyone, I am just happy to know I am not in this boat alone! 😉
You’re so not alone! 🙂 After 9 years, I am still trying to grow into my role!
I think the only differences between us in this post, are that #1, I love to can, and #2, I milk every morning and evening. All that other stuff…being behind on laundry, less than spotless house, forgetting things when running for errands, etc…it’s all part of being a farm wife! 🙂
Ditto – completely. I bought a book the other day with lots of tips for farm wives. Am writing a post about it – don’t know whether to laugh or cry reading it as not only am I not a perfect farm wife, but I think my farmer would think a changeling had moved into my body if I did some of the things.
Following on from my book ‘Would You Marry A FArmer?’ I’m writing a fun one called ‘How To Be A Perfect Farm Wife’ with a huge tongue in my cheek. Farmer is hoping I learn something as I research it though!
Glad to hear that I was not the only farm wife who wasn’t perfect. I always compared myself to my Grandmother who was in my eyes the perfect farm wife. She raised 3 kids, helped with every milking, cooked, baked, kept a spotless house, had a huge garden, apple and pear trees, a huge yard, beautiful flower beds, ran errands (by the way she always “washed up” and changed her clothes before she ran those errands) and in her spare time she crocheted (just by looking at something, no patterns for her) and sewed she even darned socks. Never felt like I could measure up to her example, until one day I was talking to her about helping my father-in-law with the milking/morning chores, and she looked at me with a tear in her eye and said “I always hoped you wouldn’t have to work that hard”. After that I finally decided that I could only do so much in a day, and if it didn’t all get done today, it would be there tommorrow, and also realized that if I missed something with the kids because I was too busy being the “perfect” wife, that is what my kids would remember, not that the house was always spotless!
Great article! I am the wife of a dairy farmer (convert from sheep), we have been married nearly 14 years, have 4 children and I have NEVER milked a cow 😉 And that’s OK. In fact early on in our marriage I tried to go out and help and my husband was honest in saying he didn’t want a “milking wife”. Whatever works for each couple, but I was happy with that!
Yep! Everyone has to find what works for them. 🙂
“A messy house, mismatched socks, pulling an all nighter to catch up book work or hiring someone to help out on the farm is perfectly OK. Making sure my husband & children are loved in the midst of the chaos is sometimes the only thing I can do right.”
I grew up this way, and I wouldn’t trade it (or my Mom or Dad) for the world. As a 45yo Mom of two teen girls now, I wish I had that life to offer my girls. No one is perfect, and that’s a good thing. 🙂
🙂