Like most people, I would guess you dread Monday mornings. That is if you work Monday-Friday with the weekends off. Monday means your weekend is over. Monday means you can’t just turn the alarm clock off and go back to sleep. Monday means you have to go to work. Mondays can be rough.
Well around here, Monday is “Sale Barn” day. Not every Monday, not even every other Monday. Just certain Mondays. A Monday that our farm has a cow that can no longer pay her way on our farm. A Monday where we have to load up a cow that we have taken care of her entire life and send her through the sale to enter the food supply. A Monday that both farmer and I dread. A Monday that simply put, just sucks. I hate those Mondays.
Every farm has their own guidelines for what determines if a cow stays or if she goes. On our farm, a cow has to at least produce enough milk to pay for the feed she eats each day. It’s really not an issue for most and they don’t have to be high producing cows. Our main goal is longevity for our cows, not maximum milk production. Sometimes, a cow just doesn’t do so well in that area. Sometimes she will have one lactation where she doesn’t do well but the next lactation she does great. Most years we can give them a “second chance” which means we just wait it out and see what she does on her next lactation. In the meantime another cow is producing enough milk to make up where she is lacking.
But truth be told, we simply cannot do that right now. The milk price is too weak. We just cannot pay the bills if we are keeping cows that do not at least pay for the feed they eat.
So we have to make the call. What cows have to go? What cows can stay?
We make a list, not a big one, maybe 2-4 cows. We write their numbers down.
We cross off a number or two.
We change it to another number.
We change it back.
The cattle hauler pulls in.
We change our mind yet again.
While he backs up, we pow-wow. May even argue. Tensions are high. We both don’t want to do this.
I cry. I cry almost every time.
He says, “Fine she can stay, but the other has to go.”
I help load whoever is still on the list into the back of the trailer.
I walk away with tears rolling down my face.
I wipe away the tears. I dry my eyes. I go love on another one of my girls (aka cows).
AND we push forward with our day. Any other year, last year even, she would have stayed.
But not this year. Not this time. Not this cow.
It’s farming, I know. It’s just how it is when you are raising animals for food. It’s just farm life. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get attached. It doesn’t mean that you can spend years caring for an animal, spending hands on time with her every day of her life; that it doesn’t hurt your heart to see her go.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I never want these girls to become just a paycheck. I want to give them the best life possible while they are on our farm. AND when their time on our farm comes to an end, I will cry. I will wipe away the tears and then I will go on taking care of the rest of our animals the best way I know how.
Krista Stauffer
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Oh my goodness, I know just how you feel. We used to have calves on our farm for 4H and it was always heartbreaking to raise them, care for their needs daily, and then let them go. I remember those high tensions and tears streaming down the face. Loving another one does help, but only a little, as you feel the ache of knowing, in the end, that one you are loving will also, one day, have to go. Only someone who is completely heartless, wouldn’t get so attached… So it’s a good thing you have such a good heart and tender love for your animals. As I drink a glass of milk today, I will think of all of you and pray for your peace and comfort. Thank you for what you do! I certainly know it is a hard 24-7 job. God bless you and your family!
Thank you! 🙂
I totally understand what you are feeling. We raised beef so didn’t have the hands on daily but we still get attached. We kept a bull (polled Hereford) way past his usefulness as he was a “pet” too. He was unusually gentle and great around kids. He had been hand raised from a baby. When he was 23 years old he was loosing teeth and slowly starving so we made the decision to send him to auction because nobody could end his life here on the farm. We always planned on him having a burial plot here but we couldn’t stand watching him slowly go down. We had a few cows we had special feelings for but none as strong as we had for Colonel. Bless your heart and your family
Thanks Candy!
Krista,do know how you feel. But it’s just me here and if one or more of the girls(dairy goats) aren’t doing their part, they gotta go. With a growing flock of Finn sheep the importance of the girls doing their job grows. At this point would love one or more ladies(dairy cows) to help with what is needed, but the budget doesn’t quite fit yet. The woolies need to pay their way also. Love my girls and the woolies, the others in my care- and like you many began their lives here with me. Add in a move soon for more pasture and facilities we’re in desperate need for and the press is on for me to do what is needed. You gotta do what’s right for the farm and its sustainability.
Exactly, “you gotta do what’s right for the farm and it’s sustainability”. Perfect words for this situation. I hope your move goes well and you are able to have enough land to sustain your farm. Take care!
I still remember 18 years ago when our 1st load left and #212 was on it. I will always remember. I don’t think I ever cried so hard in my life.
Native American’s are/were highly respectful and grateful toward the animal they hunted, said prayers before slaughter and understood it’s sacrifice. I know modern society doesn’t allow for that anymore with the way most get their food now, but it’s so great to hear of farmer’s who understand and have empathy for the animal. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you on those days. 🙁 <3
I feel your pain. I can raise them knowing their end purpose. But I can’t be the one that drops them off at their final destination
I enjoy going to the sale barn but only when we are buying not selling.
Always my saddest day when cows have to leave, I once cried for 2 days straight when one of my favourites had to go …but at the time the income from milk was so low and our business so dangerously teetering on the edge that it was a case of choosing the few who were no longer paying their way to go or the whole herd. All our cows are special, and loved, and respected workers in our farm team …and like any sports teams in order to be at the top of our game we need to keep bringing in new members, which in turn means making way for them. Thank you for your honest blog post 🙂
I am loving all these comments. It shows how much farmers truly do care!!!
Just had this today! I am glad that I am not the only one who cries. Thanks for the post.
<3
I think it’s these feelings exactly that make us better farmers….when we stop crying and feeling we should stop farming
I agree.
We have a first generation calf/cow operation. Yesterday as I went about my daily cattle chores I notice one of my first heifer Mama’s had given birth, way too early – at least 8 to 10 weeks. As I entered the pasture “Chips” as we call her, lead me straight to her baby, a little heifer whom she had cleaned up. But sadly, didn’t make it. Yeah, know exactly how you feel. We have 11 more births we are expecting by late January, early February. If any of them are bull calfs, they’ll have to go at weaning which is generally 6 months. You get pretty attached in 6 months. But it’s sure rewarding when they hear your voice and come to the pasture fence for a pet or a treat. Like you said – it’s not sll about the money.