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Stand Proud as a Farm Wife

Krista Stauffer
The Farmer's Wifee

Growing up, I never dreamed of some day getting married. I didn’t daydream about buying a house and starting a family. I wanted to go out into the world. Explore. Travel. Meet new people. Being ‘stuck’ in this little rural town was not on my list of things to do.

I had dreams, oh so many dreams. I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to work in a law office, I wanted to do this, and I wanted to do that. I had plans to move to the ‘big city’. I wanted to live in a studio apartment and work in an office setting. I had no intentions of getting married, having children, and farming had NEVER crossed my mind.

As life choices often do, they steered me down a different path. I am now a wife, mother and dairy farmer. All things I am incredibly proud of.

Over the years I have met some of the most amazing women. These women are the wives of farmers. They are proud to call themselves a wife. The farmers are proud to call them their wife. To them, the term ‘wife’ is not something to look down upon. It is something to be proud of.

Most of these women have been farming since before I was even thought of. Maybe they are ‘old fashioned’ but I absolutely love that about them. Meeting these women has inspired me to be the best farm wife I can be.

I am positive they wear capes under their every day clothing.

Society is so obsessed with putting a label on everything now days. Not only does everything have a label, but some labels are looked down upon. So let me paint a picture of what these women do on a daily basis using titles:

Chief, maid, nanny, teacher, accountant, secretary, taxi driver, Sunday school teacher, choir leader, Farm Bureau board member, co-op board member, farm owner, farm employee, tractor operator, calf raiser, milker, and the list could continue. But you know what these women are often referred to as? A farmer’s wife.

They are in marriages where each partner is equal. They are in a position where they are the helpmate of the man they love. They are the women you meet who when asked what they do for a living, they say, farmer. They are the women when signing her name, signs it right above owner/operator. They are the women that stands beside the man they love and is crucial to his success.

I know society looks down upon the term ‘wife’ and I think it is ridiculous. Now to look down upon the term ‘farmer’s wife’ is even worse.

Doing the dishes, laundry, sweeping the floor, or even picking up dirty socks doesn’t make you lesser of a person. You are just doing a small task in a bigger picture. The thing is you need clean clothes, clean dishes, and a clean (to your standards) house. Just because it is the wife that does those tasks doesn’t mean she isn’t an equal or valuable.

There is no one size fits all scenario to what each woman does in her own home or on her own farm. Some women run the farm while their husbands work off farm. Some women run the farm and are not married. Some women work side by side with their husband while others focus their time and attention on the home and children. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these scenarios and there is absolutely nothing wrong with women being proud to be a farmer’s wife. 

When I meet someone for the first time and they ask what we do for a living, I am proud to say that I am a dairy farmer. I am also love it when someone asks if I am the farmer’s wife. Why? Because I am proud of my farmer, I am proud that he is mine, and gosh darn it, I am proud to say that I am a wife. I do not have time to go down the list of all my titles, so I condensed them all into one, wife or farmer’s wife.

Maybe I am old fashion. Maybe I am out of touch with the rest of society, but I am proud to be a farmer’s wife. I will go on with the rest of my day; trying to keep up with dirty dishes, taking on the huge pile of clothes on the couch, changing dirty diapers, pay some bills, most likely end up running to town for supplies, jump on the tractor at least once, feed some calves, and at the end of the day what I did was no less important than what my husband did.

Wear that wife title proud, be proud of the man you married, and be proud to be his wife.

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Krista Stauffer

Owner at Stauffer Dairy
Krista didn't grow up on a farm but fell in love with a dairy farmer and now works alongside her husband on their family dairy farm, raising five children. Despite her non-farm upbringing, she embraces farm life, enjoys gardening, and remodeling their farmhouse. She also runs a successful women's boutique, manages social media for local businesses, and serves on the board of a non-profit creamery, showcasing her dedication to entrepreneurship and community service.
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